Where We Are Today

Happy National Adoption Month! November kicks off a full month of adoption awareness. I always love these types of dedicated months because I feel like there’s never too much awareness and adoption is one that seems to get overlooked. I also found it fitting to announce our adoption plans publicly on November 1st. The amount of support and kind words were incredible!

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The road getting to where we are today was a long, bumpy one but we are very excited to be here, checking one thing after another off of our list of to do’s for our home study.

After experiencing the pain of infertility for the past 3 years, switching gears from doctors’ appointments, monitoring, and the constant disappointment of negative cycles to reading books about adoption, looking at all available avenues, and meeting with multiple agencies/information sessions renewed our hope of being parents – a hope that was lost months ago.

One of the many things we have learned is that life isn’t meant to be easy. It isn’t meant to be ‘perfect‘ in any way. We have been broken down so that we would open up. There is beauty in that pain.

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But adoption isn’t a guarantee, it isn’t easy, and it isn’t something to be taken lightly. Adoption is centered around loss and that grief will continue on with our family for all of the years to come. I already feel the pain of that loss my child and birth family will experience and it strikes me deep in my heart.

Before our path with our agency was put in front of us, we explored adopting through the state’s foster care system. We did a lot of researching, discussing, praying, and soul searching during that time as we tried to find the path that was meant for us right now in our lives. My heart breaks for every child who experiences the pain of the loss of one family as they try to set roots down – roots that are buried deep in a mass of confusion, pain, and conflict – a mass that can only fade with an outpouring of consistent love and time. I don’t think a parent is ever ready for all that life throws at them, the things that no one has control over, the things that are life changing – and so we were ready to jump in, not sure if we knew how to swim, and try our best at it.

As we decided to go forward with foster-to-adopt, we got a call from our agency to move forward with them. Literally within days of making that decision – days! A call that we didn’t expect after a short 2 months on their long waiting list…a call we weren’t sure we’d ever end up getting. And we mulled things over again, and again, and again. We even told our agency we were going to stick with foster-to-adopt, though our gut felt hesitant…and our social worker sensed that. She didn’t take no for an answer and gave us another week to discuss things before she would move on to her next family on the list. So we searched deep down into the pit of our gut – the pit that you often ignore because of logic and reasoning – the pit that when people say ‘to listen to your gut’ you really have to silence the world to hear what it’s saying. That pit told both David and myself that at this point in our lives, foster-to-adopt isn’t the right path for us and once we both listened, our hearts immediately felt at peace. The peace we wanted to feel with foster-to-adopt but just wasn’t there.

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We truly believe this decision was meant for us to make. We contacted our social worker, met with her, and confidently moved forward; with peace in our hearts and excitement lighting the way.

So where are we today? Well we have been fingerprinted, completed physicals, wrote our autobiographies, filled out pages after pages of information on ourselves and our families, sent in tax information/basic financial statements/marriage certificate, and this week we will have our MMPI personality tests as well as our first official in-office interviews with our social worker.

I am excited to share my blog with you all so that if you chose to follow our journey – it’s here and if you can continue to pray for us that would be amazing too!

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One thought on “Where We Are Today

  1. It’s so inspiring to hear the hope and determination in your words ❤ I had hoped that your journey would have been an easy one, but I know that with your faith you can and will get through anything. There's a baby out there just waiting to enter your life at the right moment and I'm so lucky to be able to witness such a miracle before my very eyes. You're a beautiful person inside and out Mal and I'm just so happy you've found a path that you feel at peace with~xoxo P

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