Some people may be wondering why we are wanting to adopt. There are a lot more treatments and things we could do to continue to try to get pregnant. A lot of expensive, life-draining things to exhaust: to try to get pregnant.
But our goal is to be parents; to share our lives, our experiences, our adventures, and more than anything to share our love. Having children and being a parent goes far beyond being pregnant.
These days, fortunately, there are never-ending scientific, medical ways to have a family. Medications, hormone injections, artificial inseminations, in vitro fertilization, embryo adoptions, donors, surrogates, and the list goes on. There are a lot of amazing things the world of science can do to help families have children.
But those ways aren’t for us. At the news of my endometriosis and the months of failed cycles, our hearts opened to adoption and moved away from the constant letdown that comes with the non-stop infertility treatments. Once that happened, everything else fell into it’s place.
There’s a family in our church that has 4 adopted children. This family sits towards the front of the church every week and looks no different than any other family in church. Their kids don’t look like them, they don’t have their mom’s eyes or their dad’s nose but the love is real, genuine, and abundant. This family has held an example to David and I as we went to church each week, praying for a miracle child – exhausted, hopeless, and saddened. It was that family that David and I would watch each week and later get in the car to go on with our day with that picture in our heads…hope crept back little by little each week as we continued to watch this family in front of us; as God worked in our hearts.
Our neighbor is a foster dad. He recently adopted a boy, J, who is polite and kind. A few times when David was outside doing yard work, J would come over and talk to him or if I would be outside he would always wave and say Hi. When you talk to J, you can see deep down in his eyes how much bravery he has, how much strength he has, how much pain he’s experienced, and how much he loves his Dad; his forever family. After we got Bentley, J came over to meet him and J and his 2 foster brothers were petting Bentley, doing everything they could to avoid Bentley’s excited puppy teeth and tail wags, as the one boy told me how many foster homes he’s been in and how many pets he has had to leave in the past. There had been multiple times where David and I would come back in our house and felt our hearts changing. We have a lot of love to give and there are children in this world who most definitely need it.
See, David and I didn’t know many people who were adopted, didn’t have any close connections to adoption (that has changed dramatically as we have met many other adoptive families on our journey already!), and this may be one of the only stories of adoption you’ll hear where we didn’t both grow up planning to adopt some day.
That’s where our infertility journey comes into play. I truly feel God worked through our story differently, having to break us down to open us up, to listen and see how things could be different but equally as great. The family at church and J were just a few of the tools set in our lives and I am so thankful we were tuned in enough to hear Him out!
For now, we will pray, hope, and trust.